in your oppinion should parents who adopt out their child have the right to change their mind at any time?

Question

if so what do you think the time limit should be if any.

Answer 1

As an adoptive parent, I drove my son's first mom to the courthouse and showed her exactly where to go if she changed her mind about the adoption, and I made sure the attorney read the consent out loud,and that she had copies of it. I wanted her to be sure before I received my son. I offered to help her if she needed it, and had told her that everything I had in the nursery belonged to him, that if she changed her mind, I wanted her to have it. There was 10 days in our state (each state has different laws from no time to a year) to back out. I do believe that during this time, that first moms be allowed to see the baby, if they wish (some don't), and in the event that they change their mind, that the prospective adoptive parents work with them to help them.



At the same time, I didn't realize how much I was looking forward to that 10 days being up. I called 5 minutes before the clerk's office closed, to make sure if she'd come or not. I remember shaking and trembling when I found out she hadn't, with relief. I also think that 10 days is the perfect amount of time. Enough that the first mom has time to be able to contact someone to get help if she needs it, and it isn't so long that the adoptive parents end up in an emotional rollercoaster, in the event the first mom did change her mind, and they're already attached. Trying to help 1st moms, and trying to adopt at the same time has it's heartbreaks. I cared for my son before he was born as much as if I was carrying him myself. I can't imagine ever placing a child and the pain she went/goes through. My prayers are for her, however, after 10 days, my son already stopped crying when I held him, and did cry when she held him. He knew me at that point, and although I realize at that age, he wouldn't have remembered me if she'd changed her mind, I do know that any time past those first few weeks would have been a traumatic event for him.

Answer 2

I believe on average it's normally about 6 weeks, personally I think it's due to a peak of hormones and sometimes whilst pregnant we do not always rationalize our actions, so given some time and the allowance for our hormones to go back to normal should we still stand behind our decision at least we were given time for such.



I think it's hard on all and to give a YES or NO would be slightly unfair as there are so many emotions and expectations involved.



VERY hard for the birth mother who grew her baby within in for 9 months and went through not only labor but also the decision to give her child to another...



VERY hard for the Couple or Single who is to expect the child and who has yearned to become Parents/Parent for a long time and not assured if the child that they have bonded with will be taken from them and returned back to its birth-mother.

Answer 3

I think once the baby is in the arms of their adopted parents the birth parents should have anywhere from 3 - 6 months. I am not talking about finalization, I am talking about 3 - 6 months from the time the baby was given up. If a couple has the baby for 6 months before it is finalized and then the birth parents are given another 6 months, that would be a year the adoptive parents raised the child and I do not think it is in the best interest of the child to go back then. I am for 3 - 6 months from time they were placed in the adoptive parents arms.

Answer 4

I really think it depends on the situation and the amount of time the child has spent with their adoptive parents. I think after 2 + years, the child should remain with the adoptive parents. After that long, the child has become attached to their adoptive parents. Taking the child away would be devastating.



EDIT: I have to laugh at some of these other answers. You say that after a woman gives HER child up for adoption she should have no rights???? LOL, I bet these are the same pro-life psychos you see at abortion clinics. How can you possibly expect a woman to want choose adoption when there's heartless people like you saying that she should have no rights after the fact! You can't have it both ways people!

Answer 5

All situations are different.

If its a newborn than I would generalize and say yes, if its before the age of 4. They should automatically be able to get their children back, if they are fit parents.



If its an older child than Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean

a child should be immediately removed from their current home.



I think that a mother and child should never be separated by a piece of paper or because of the emotions of 3rd parties.



The mother should be allowed to have time with her child so they can bond and have a relationship. Its whats best for the child. If the child doesn't want to continue contact, that their choice and it should never be influenced by the fears or emotions of a 3rd party.



People that adopt and cannot respect that are either insecure and lack self respect therefore they can't give it to the a-child or they just shouldn't be adopting in the first place. Adoption doesn't mean ownership and it certainly doesn't give them the right to play God with two other people that have a right to be together. Its going to happen anyway, so why fight nature and harm them.



Its not fair to the relationship Ap/a-child but neither is placing your child because society would rather dump money into warfare instead of welfare.

Answer 6

They should get at least ninety days.



Where I live the revocation period is thirty days. That doesn't allow a woman much time to recover from child birth, deal with stalling tactics by the agency, and hire a good lawyer.



I wouldn't want to lose a child that was placed with me, but then neither would I want my grown child to find his family and hear that I kept him from his mom on a technicality.

Answer 7

If it was their choice to give up their child, yes. I do not necessarily think they should be able to come back and raise their child, but they should absolutely have as much contact as they want, as long as the child wants that contact, too. Many first parents find out after the fact that adoption isn't what they thought it was, or didn't realize how painful it would be.



If it wasn't their choice (i.e. the child was taken away due to abuse or neglect), then it would have to be based on the individual situation.

Answer 8

I think the time limits that are in place now, in most areas 30 days, are long enough.



People have to know that this is a serious undertaking and if they cannot think it through in the time allowed then thats too bad. Once a child is placed there is a bond that starts to form with the adoptive family and that they start to form with the child. Breaking that bond will only serve to do more harm with the child and with the family.



The process is long enough as it is now in many cases and there is no need to have the prospect of reversal hanging over the heads of either the children or the adoptive parents like a Sword of Damocles.



Decisions need to be made, court decisions need to be issued and after a suitable appeal process for legal or proceedural grounds (the normal 30 days), we all need to move on with our lives.

Answer 9

That is a hard question!! I think that if a parent agrees to give the child up for adoption and goes through with it, I think it should be final. There really should be no excuses!! I mean you have almost 10 months to think about it (while you are pregnant) and then when you deliver the baby and then sign the papers, then that should be it. The only time you should be allowed to change your mind is before you sign the papers, not after. The child is adapting to his environment and I think that its not in the best interest of the child to go to someone (the biological parent) that signed away their rights. I honestly think, as a parent, you even want them or you don't. If your decision for 10 months is you don't want them and you go through labor and still don't want them, then you probably don't really want them. Give them to someone that can take care of them and that will give them a good life.

Answer 10

Once it is finalized it needs to stay that way except in extreme circumstances. I DO however, believe that except in other again extreme circumstances, that adoption should be open with all parties aware of the facts. Adoption is not usually abotu not wanting the child, it's about LOVING the child whether the mother realizes it or not. There shoudl be no shame on anyone involved that it needs to be hidden and kept a secret.

Answer 11

because of postpartum depression (which occurs in some degree in every woman) i think that the limit should be 3 months, i think a woman's decision to give up her baby can be clouded and prebirth adoptions shouldn't even exist.

Answer 12

They do have the option to change their mind - but they only have that option for the first 30 days. The reason for this is because the child is already adapting to the environment and for the mother to change her mind various times puts an emotional strain on the child at hand.

Answer 13

They should have at least 6 weeks postpartum with their baby without adopters or agency workers hovering over them pressing for a decision.



They should have at least 6 months to rescind their decision to relinquish and be told of their rights (many mothers were never told they had any rights at all).



This is my opinion

Answer 14

In my opinion I think that after the adoption is finalized they should not have the right to change their mind. Thats why they have a grace period before the adoption is finalized. Depending on the state it is up to 6 months. I have adopted 5 children and the thought of one of my children's birth parents coming back to take them away would completely destroy me and my children. I feel that once they terminate their parental rights it is just that. they no longer have any rights to that child. The child is not a piece of property that you can discard and retrieve later. I have seen enough in my experience as a foster parent and the effects it has on the children to come to the conclusion that just because you give birth to a child does not necesserily give you the right to parent that child.

Answer 15

I do not think they should be able to change their minds, that is one of the reasons people do not want to adopt or go out of the country to adopt.

I see kids everyday that have been in and out of the system for years due to a biological parents indecision. It is cruel to the child, the adoptive parents and society.

If you decide to give up your child because you are unable to care for them, for any reason and have signed the papers, that is it.

I do not mean to sound uncaring, but we had a friend have her child ripped from her arms 2 years after taking her in, because the bio decided she was "now" ready to be a parent.

Answer 16

They should not have the right to change their mind at 'any time'.



However, I think they should have AT LEAST as long as a customer who buys a lawn mower at Home Depot, where you get 90 days to change your mind.



I think most states have a 30 day revocation period.

Answer 17

No, they should not have the option to change their mind, at any time, they choose. I agree, there should be a grace period, where first mom or dad, can rethink their decision, maybe 30 days.

This is a child's life, a child that needs consistency and stability.

Answer 18

Absolutely not. Once the adoption is finalized the parents that are giving up the child should have NO rights. I also don't think it's fair when you're pregnant and decide to give your child up and you let the adopting parents go through it all and then change your mind. Once you enter into an agreement, I think that should be it.

Answer 19

the possibility should exist however parents should not do it.

and the time limit should be maximum a few weeks, not amouting to a month.

Answer 20

i think once the adoption papers are finalized they should have no rights to change their minds.

Answer 21

NOpe, you give it up, it's gone.

Answer 22

NO