What are some good books for a future dad?

Question

My fiance (we have been together for 4 years and will be married before we adopt a child) and I are looking into adoption.

Now I have read the following books to prepare:
Birthmothers by Mary Bloch Jones
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?r=1&ISBN=9780595006373&ourl=Birthmothers%2FMerry%2DBloch%2DJones
(to get a feel on how birth moms or expectant moms as some call them, feel.)
Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connection by Sheena Macrae
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Adoption-Parenting/Sheena-Macrae/e/9780972624459/?itm=9
The Ultimate Insider's Guide to Adoption: Everything You Need to Know About Domestic and International Adoption by Elizabeth Swire Falker
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Ultimate-Insiders-Guide-to-Adoption/Elizabeth-Swire-Falker/e/9780446697309/?itm=17
Forever Lily: An Unexpected Mother's Journey to Adoption in China
by Beth Nonte Russell
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Forever-Lily/Beth-Nonte-Russell/e/9780743292979/?itm=26
The Whole Life Adoption Book
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Whole-Life-Adoption-Book/Jayne-E-Schooler/e/9781600061653/?itm=27
Somebody Else's Daughter
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Somebody-Elses-Daughter/Elizabeth-Brundage/e/9780670019007/?itm=40

However, I'd like a book, for a man, that is going to adopt. I want my fiance to do his reading to. He read Compleete Idiot's Guide To Adoption
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Complete-Idiots-Guide-to-Adoption/Christine-Adamec/e/9781592572748/?itm=1
However, I'd like him to read more from a birth father/adoptive dad prospective.

Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

The first book I'd recommend to you is this:



http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225328389&sr=8-1



I think you should try to have your own children, and can't imagine why you'd want to begin your marriage raising other people's children. With good insurance, you could spend under a grand to have your own child--why would you want to spend 20-50K to buy someone else's? I think you ought to examine your motivation.



There are 90 couples for every "healthy white baby", which is what most people seem to want. And truly, those babies belong with their parents, not with you. Raising adopted children is very different than raising a child that comes from you and your fiance biologically. Children are hard-wired from generations of their own families, and will likely be VERY different in personality, temperament, and appearance.



There are however, many, many children in foster care who actually need parents. If you're set on adoption, I think you ought to look into that option.



Here are some links and books about what adoption is really like:



http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org

http://www.origins-usa.org

http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm

http://www.babyscoopera.com

http://www.bastards.org/bq/babb2.html



Adoption studies:

http://crimemagazine.com/07/adoptionforensics,0919-7.htm

http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/topics/psychopathstudies.htm

http://www.angelfire.com/or/originsnsw/wendys_pres.html



Books:

The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

Lost and Found: the Adoption Experience AND

Journey of the Adopted Self: A Quest for Wholeness both by Betty Jean Lifton

The Adopted break Silence by Jean Paton

The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler

Adoption: Uncharted Waters,by David Kirschner

Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky

Answer 2

There is nothing on that list about how the adopted child feels. =o/



Also:

http://www.amazon.com/Lifegivers-Framing-Birthparent-Experience-Adoption/dp/087868770X/ref=sr_1_3/002-5963432-0976006?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1186762075&sr=1-3



I'm sure the adoptees will make some excellent suggestions.

Answer 3

primal wound by nancy verrier and anything by betty jean lifton.



MUST read for both.