Is it possible to ethically adopt internationally?

Question

This is a curiosity I don't mean international vs. domestic, because to me, children who need help are all over the world, and as long as you are open and educated about where they come from and their culture, I don't see a problem with adopting someone from another country. And, as with any adoption, I am only talking about children who really need help, who are either abandoned or their families are torn apart by drugs, abuse, war, abandonment, or any other catastrophe. Obviously, I would much rather help the children stay with their families.

The problem I am running into is finding a reputable group that assists with international adoption. I've heard horror stories of poor families whose children are basically taken away and "sold" to rich Westerners. I have also seen horror stories about orphanages in places such as Eastern Europe, Asia, and Africa that just break my heart. Even foster care in the US with all of its issues is a better situation than an orphanage. But, how do you make sure that the child really is an orphan?

Answer 1

Hate to say it but: the more disabled and badly off the kids are, the less likely anybody but you is gonna care for them.



I think if I was willing to do an international adoption, I would adopt a preschool aged child from an Eastern European orphanage.



P.S. I've also never heard that the girls in China are reclaimed or wanted. I mean- there is a social pressure at work in their being abandoned, but if they are not adopted, they will not be raised with a family. They are not being sold.

Answer 2

My personal view is there no such thing as an ethical international adoption and yes I do have cousins who are internationally adopted.



I personally believe if you want to adopt from another country then go and live in that country, adopt and stay in that country till the child is at least 16 years old.

Answer 3

I agree with the first two answers, and I also believe that international adoption is robbing that country of their most valuable asset- their future generation.

Answer 4

Bridget, there are few genuine orphans--in the sense that they don't have family anywhere.



There are people who think that:



-adoption is unethical (and should be illegal--at birth, foster, and/or in any form)

-giving a child up for adoption is unethical (some think it's unethical in all circumstances and some think it should be illegal)

-abortion is unethical (some believe in all circumstances it is unethical, including cases of rape, incest or when childbirth is possibly fatal to the mother)

-not using birth control to prevent unintended pregnancy is unethical

-placing a child in an orphanage is unethical

-abusing or neglecting a child is unethical (that parent is mentally ill is no excuse whatsoever, according to some)

-removing a child from their birth parent in any circumstances is unethical (that the parents need rapid rehabilitation while the children are in their custody)

-fostering a child is unethical (because the kids truly want to be with their genetic family, not with someone else's family)

-accepting monthly money subsidies for foster adoption is unethical

-abandoning one's child who has serious health issues or behavioral health issues is unethical

-infertility treatment is unethical

-having "too many" children is unethical

-having children you can't afford to support adequately entirely on your own without help is unethical

-a birth (genetic) father abandoning his child (to poverty) is unethical

-not abstaining from sex to eliminate pregnancy risk is unethical

-raising children in poverty is unethical (even if the poverty was the result of catastrophic events that occurred later)

-adopting a child and removing him/her from their native culture is unethical

-charging potential adoptive parents (loads of) money to adopt is unethical

-money changing hands in adoption is unethical

-being desperate enough to pay for a child is unethical

-dropping a baby off at a "baby box" or "safe haven" is unethical (some think no matter what the reason)

-having more children after giving a child up for adoption is unethical

-not paying child support, no matter what the circumstances, is unethical

-using society's help such as WIC, welfare, public housing or food stamps is unethical

-relatives not supporting pregnant relatives is unethical

-fathering children serially (ten kids by ten different mothers, supporting only some or none) is unethical

-fathers abandoning first kids but supporting subsequent offspring is unethical

-raising a sibling's child or a grandchild and having the child call you "mom" or "dad" is unethical

etc., etc., etc.....



People also have double standards. They may say OTHER PEOPLE should adopt or sponsor children who have serious and/or complicated medical problems and/or neurologic or behavioral issues and are in orphanages, but they certainly don't take those kids in themselves. They may say YOU should be satisfied subsidizing someone else's children rather than raising a child yourself, but they do not forego raising children themselves and sponsor someone else's children instead.



The beliefs listed above may not be my own, but some claim them as their beliefs. Some people believe that if a person is infertile (from cancer treatments, for example) or a child gets leukemia or dies of some disease, it's ultimately "the Lord's will".



The only truly, truly ethical way might be in the very, very rare cases wherein a child has no genetic family whatsoever on the earth. Foster children, in reality, want to be with their own genetic family, as do adopted children, even foster children who are "special needs"-- kids who are chronically ill or came from abuse and/or neglect. Most people do not have the financial resources or the strong professional support needed to foster or adopt or sponsor children with serious, ongoing behavioral or health issues, but may suggest YOU do it. So many things are considered unethical...by some people somewhere. Everyone has their own core beliefs.



To send an older child across the world to a foreign country where the adopters don't speak his or her language...to be told that this woman you don't really know is your "Mama" (you might understand that word) while knowing that you have a "Mama" back in your home country whom you lived with for a few/several years and love..(maybe you were taken away from her because of abuse, neglect, or abandoned, but you want to go home). You may have had a foster mother for a long time in an orphanage and become very attached to her. You wouldn't understand what the people around you were saying. They'd put food in front of you, you'd perhaps never seen before. They would send you to school and the kids there might think you were strange because you didn't understand their words or culture.

Answer 5

I was adopted in America!!! By European parents!!!!

Think about that.



In Europe, back in the late 70s as well as today, people don't have unwanted children. (Unprotected sex hardly exists.)

Once my parents accepted that they couldn't have kids on their own, they decided to try their luck adopting in America. It took almost 5 years. But here we are.



Take a look at how things stand in America. Perhaps you should be asking: "How is it ethically responsible not to adopt here, at home, first?"

Answer 6

I personally don't think that international adoption can ever be ethical. Imagine how scary it must be for a child, especially a child who is a genuine orphan and has already lost their family, to then be taken away from everything they have ever known, to a place with strange people, strange customs and a strange language, a place where the culture is totally different to the one they grew up in. That must be so unsettling and frightening, and I imagine that such a child would grow up to be confused about who they are and where they come from, and what their identity is.



There are ways in which you can help children abroad - sponsor a child so that they can have a better life in their own country, go and do volunteer work in the country, raise awareness of the plight of orphaned children and encourage people to donate to charity, or encourage people in that country to consider adoption from orphanages. But the complete upheaval of international adoption does more harm than good.