Searching for a sibling I have never met???

Question

I have an older sister who would probably be about 24-30ish about now. My mom had her when she was really young and was forced to give her up for adoption. My mom won't talk about it because it makes her too upset. I don't think she knows where she is though. I've searched and haven't found anything other than a baby hat of hers. I think her name might be Christina or Christine or Kristine or Kristina. Thats all the information I have. How would one go about trying to find a sibling that they have never met and have very little information about them? What more information would I need to conduct a hopefully sucessful search? Has anyone had something similar happen to them? I don't know if it was an open or closed adoption or even if they had that option back then and I don't know who the father was, except that it wasn't mine. I'm really just trying to find some begining points here. Any help is appreciated! Thanks.

Answer 1

I was adopted when I was three months old. I found out that I was adopted about five months ago after asking my parents about the odd circumstances surrounding my birth. My mother told me my biological mothers name but that was no help in finding her as she was unlisted. Eventually my crazy biological dad contacted me and I got in contact with my bio-mothers sister through him.



Your situation is reverse of mine though. Your seeking her, and don't have a starting point.



It'd help if your mother could tell you who the child was adopted out to, she had to sign papers to do so and so should more than likely know who. It will help greatly if you can find out who the male is that adopted her as of womens last names change with marriage & divorce. If you can get a hold of that person then you can likely find your sister or information on her to find her. It is a very touchy subject with parents as my mom had a breakdown when I finally got her to tell me. They are afraid of rejection or disappointment. It could also affect your sister hard from finding this information out if she does not already know. To the point of disbelief.



The name of your sister could changed like mine did as well. Mine went from Tina Meadows to Heather Hopper making it hard for family who was looking for me to find me.



But again try to talk to your mother, be patient, go slow. And tell her how much it means to you to find your sister. And if she co-operates she will at least give you the first clue to finding her.



In the money department you can always hire someone to find her for you, they have agency's that focus on lost adoptions. But they can get rather pricey.



Good Luck!

Answer 2

More information would be helpful in your search, of course. I might try to get more info from your mother by asking one question at a time over several months. For example, your mom might not want to have a long conversation about your sister, but she might tell you how old she was when your sister was born. Then later you could ask her, so, where were you living when you were ___ years old? This would help you narrow down the age and birthplace of your sibling. Then try the adoption registries that some have suggested, as well as the state or adoption agencies in the area near where your sister was born.

Answer 3

I think you need to ask why your mom is so upset about it...Having a child adopted can be a difficult subject, but before you dig to deep I think you need to check the circumstances around your sisters adoption-like why!

The best thing you can do is find out the agency that your mom used for the adoption as your sisters details would be logged with them in their archives. There is also an adopted persons register online where adopted people can register themselves in search for biologcical family members.

Hope this helps a little! Good luck! :0)

Answer 4

The first thing is to be specific about where the adoption happened. Different states have different laws about adoption records. It's usually the adoptee who has to initiate the search for records.



My wife wanted to find her birthmother. It wasn't all that difficult because the woman had left a good paper trail.



So, I'd suggest....



first, give more information about where the adoption occured. Find people in that state who can answer you truthfully and honestly what you can do in your search.



Find various websites and services to document what you know and that you are looking for her.



Good luck.

Answer 5

You did not say what state this was in...there are several states that are online that have birth indexes..I highly suggest hooking up with a search angel..they also have databases that may help. Also, I would not do this behind your bio mom's back unless she is willing to be involved in the search. You may open up old wounds that she may not want reopended, know what I mean? I would be very honest with her that you would love to be able to help her find her daughter your sister, but I would respect her wishes as well.

If she does not recall the date of birth possibly the birth occurred on one of the states that we have access to records and can get the actual dob of your sibling. Also you may be able to research old newspapers at the library that may have hospital admissions and dismissals recorded for the hospital mom was in. Also, the hospital may still have your mom's hospital records on microfilm or filed away somewhere..legally they are to keep them for 10 years I think? I have known people to get records from 30 years ago. Hope this helps some, I would be very honest with your mom though and respect her wishes. barbara [e-mail]

Answer 6

You can try adoption registries online....and whatnot. Thats what I did to find my biological mother. It will take time giving you have very lilttle information. Try to find out where she was born and other info like that. It can be jsut general stuff but knowing she was born in CA helps narrow down the search, ectra.



Also....I was given the name Christina at birth. I am 24. Any my birthmother is from Washington. You can email me at [e-mail]

Answer 7

it is like korean drama, have you ever watched korean drama? because at the end of drama they get connected or were seperated when they were young but they never searched each other , they just fall in love, or work at the same place then they know each other and find each other so same thing might happen to you, bear in mind that ur sibling might be around you !

Answer 8

Heres a concept.... Look up free people search. glad to help.

Answer 9

i bet that is very hard for u. i dont know how it feeeels but i hope for the best. talk to ur mom. tell her u want to find her. thats hte only way

Answer 10

um i dont really hav a similar situation.but i hopw u find her.u can look on myspace for her name and info.or u can look for a website that helps u find people.is ur mom vietnamese.im wondering.

Answer 11

i honestly have never felt what you have

but i will definitely pray for you.

i hope you find more about her